Because we are never still
Because I don’t know how to mourn
Because we need to witness together
Because what does that mean
Because I don’t want us to be alone
Because Syrian theater breaks my spine
Because I don’t understand
Because Pina Baush breaks my heart
Because we are missing a generation of elders
Because there is still sand on my face
Because we need to sit together
Because lonely wasn’t a word before Shakespeare invented it
Because we’ve lost touch with our emotions
Because they are there but we choke them
Because words aren’t everything
Because let’s be in a space together
Because I hear Ophelia in the desert
Because I don’t know what it means to be a man
Because I know what it feels like to wake up unexpectedly
Because we can be irreverent
Because we should break the form
Because I want to weave the sacred into my life
Because rituals matter
Because we all breathe together
Because some moments our hearts beat together
Because images can sear into our brains
Because the first time I read Cleansed, I didn’t know what love was
Because I’m just trying to figure it out
Because we are complacent
Because you can’t deny something if you see it
Because light affects our bodies
Because violence affects our bodies
Because I understand through things that are visceral
Because the arts are connected
Because art can’t be put on a pedastal
Because the world is covered in a layer of grit
Because I have an anxious body
Because I didn’t ask when I could have
Because I don’t trust simple answers
Because sunrises and sunsets are different
Because our hearts have shadows
Because a bare lightbulb burns
Because catharsis helps us breathe
Because I am in recovery
Because I have 99 pages of personal posts
Because I will stay up all night
Because it has been 143 days
Because I will go without having time for laundry
Because our spaces hold ghosts
Because resonance is more than voice
Because the fourth wall is shattered
Because fuck hierarchies
Because glitter never leaves
Because design is personal
Because devising is personal
Because it needs to be intersectional and interdisciplinary
Because the first thing we did was tell stories
Because we learn through sweat
Because sonnet 60 has me screaming
Because soggy puzzle pieces fit somewhere
Because we are standing on ashes
Because our ancestors went from impulse to action
Because we are engines and generators
Because it can feel like communion
Because we should do tequila shots with orange and cinnamon
Because we have broken bread and body
Because I iron my handkerchiefs
Because my work is tied to my mental health
Because my work is tied to my queerness
Because I am re-learning how to play
Because we can see constellations
Because I need to make to heal
Because we need to make to heal
Because we need to witness to heal
Because we are broken
Reed Fowler 